SMELL MY FEET!

by Big Foot

I know some of you are going back to school in a few weeks. I’ve seen the commercials for it on TV. (Yes, even sasquatches have TVs.)  That means you are  now starting the excitement of buying new notebooks, cool clothes, and stylin’ shoes.

         Must be nice.

It’s not easy being the one with the biggest feet in the world. (Yes, even bigger than basketball great Shaquille O’Neill, and he wears a size 22!). You humans can just walk into any shoe store, try on a few styles in your size, and stroll out with a brand-new pair of sneakers, sandals, or boots.

Try doing that when you’re a size 72 triple wide.

So mostly I just run around barefoot, which can wreak havoc on your tootsies.  You should see the blisters on the soles of my feet.  They’re always popping and oozing out all kinds of gross goo. (I hope you aren’t reading this while you’re eating!). What I wouldn’t give for a pair of shoes—in any style. I’d take them made of plastic, or leather, or rubber or even banana peels.

Yes. Banana peels.  You know why?  Because then they would be slippers. (That’s just a little bit of Big Foot humor for ya!)

Anyway, this is my way of wishing those of you who go back to school in August a great year. And if you happen to see a pair of size 72 triple wide high top sneakers while you’re shopping, can you write me here and let me know?

P.S. Don’t forget to pick up those LEGOs and Barbie shoes after you’re done playing with them. They’re killer on bare feet.

I need a pedicure!